I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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