finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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