but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
