I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
