There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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