You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
