You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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