can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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