the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
