Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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