This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
