i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So many bounce houses so little time
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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