So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i now understand why vodka
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
