I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
