Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..