I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
