i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
