don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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