So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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