speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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