Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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