Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize