Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
