I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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