alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Even my vagina gasped.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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