I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
