thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize