Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
