dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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