Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
