I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
honey bunches of taint.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
