ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
