I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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