but the lizard people decide everything anyway
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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