Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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