But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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