I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
