I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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