i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
