I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize