I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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