Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
