I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
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So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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