If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
