no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
