oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
