I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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