She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
