The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
