I think i peed on brittanys purse
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
