Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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