So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
