you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
