Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
too bad you live with your parents still
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
