I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
