I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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