you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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