whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
