Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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