Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
