Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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