i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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